The History of the United Speakonian Soviet Republic
Well known as being incredibly strong and technologically advanced, the United Speakonian Soviet Republic has a very long history to it. In the beginning It is unknown just whenabouts the USSR came into being, though it was clearly some time after the Great Exodus from Earth in 2009. It didn't take long for the country to run into trouble, instantly falling under the tyrannical rule of Josef Stlolin. Though he was in power for only a year or so, he struck great fear into the Russian people. The country directly opposed the United Lols of Roflica and much of the western hemisphere. It was not until October 2010 that his rule over the nation came to an end. Pieboy6000, along with an armed militia, lead a coup in Lolscow that year, overthrowing Stlolin and installing himself as the new leader. Many feared that it would simply be the same as it was before, though this was not the case. Within days, Pieboy relaxed many laws that oppressed the citizens of the country. There was an end to gender discrimination, racism and homophobia, and there was no longer regular military patrols up and down the streets of the USSR. Pieboy had started to take the USSR into a brave new future. The War in the Republic of My Or at least that is what he had planned. He still opposed the western hemisphere, the United Lols of Roflica in particular. He promised his people he would crush the oppressive west as he had done Stlolin, too much praise by the people. Of course, Pieboy had to build up his military in order to achieve this goal. As a result, from November 2010 to July 2011, much of the Russian economy went into bolstering the army. He had just put the finishing touches on the military hardware when he received a call from the newly formed North My. Their previous leader, Linux Anna II, had been assassinated, and the caller revealed themself to be 'The Supreme AI'. At first, Pieboy was concerned with this development, but dropped this when she promised him one thing - the chance to strike the United Lols of Roflica. His efforts finally about to be paid off, he commanded all Russian forces into North My to help out the Communist Linux Penguin Army in the now full-scale war taking place across the two nations. Pieboy was exceptionally pleased, his plan to strike the heart of the west was in motion - though little did he know he had simply been manipulated. With the USSR's help, North My was held by the CLPA forces and South My was invaded and conquered. This took just long enough for the Supreme AI to obtain a crystal from Soiturranna, which she required for the next phase of her plan. It was then, on August 2, 2011, that the USSR began facing its darkest moment. With her use of the USSR gone, the Supreme AI turned three billion mind controlled Soiturrannians towards Earth 2, and headed them all straight for the USSR. Caught off guard, the Russians moved back to defend their nation. They initially defeated the first wave of about 375,000,000 in Lolivostok with the use of a nuclear weapon. Unfortunately however, this was just an eighth of the force. The remaining soldiers retaliated in full force, and within a week, the mighty nation had fallen. Pieboy and his inner circle fled to Canaderp. The Russian population had no defence and were easily enslaved by the Supreme AI. Two months passed, and the Supreme AI had her superweapon ready: the Diarrhea Death Star: Supreme Excrement Edition. With no way of stopping it, Pieboy could only watch as his nation was reduced to rubble in one blast on the lowest power setting, killing millions of people in seconds. Despite his determination to fight back, Pieboy and his remaining forces stayed quiet for the rest of the war, forming an alliance with the United Lols of Roflica in the final stages. With combined efforts from both nations, the USSR and the ULR were fully operating countries pretty quickly, and formed a rather strong relationship. Peace Four months of peace were granted since the end of the war in the Republic of My. Pieboy announced his alliance with the west, claiming that after an attack of that scale, there was no time for petty conflict between nations, and that they all must stand together to defend their homeworld. Though this was met by unfavourable criticism by his people, Pieboy stood by his claims and eventually they were accepted. The Russians began bolstering their military - yet again - and in the process managed to create the most powerful nuclear weapon known to man: The Tsar Lola, ten times bigger than the Tsar Bomba it was based on made fifty years before. This weapon still exists today. The Russian military bolstering was well timed however, as yet another conflict was brewing. The War in the Rofl Island Chain On February 23rd, 2012, a strange encrypted transmission was received from an unknown location at the Russian radar array "LOLVB-76". It was a warning of an imminent attack by hostile forces against the ULR, specifically the Rofl Island Chain. Though initially ignored, Pieboy soon heeded this warning when he realised there was no way it could be fake if it was directly sent to a hidden radar station. The Russian military went to high alert - just a few days before the war began. The War in the Rofl Island Chain was started by a very well armed militia group, the "Soviet Lulz Brigade", who had been building power for many years. Headed by Scottyvich Baloneykov, an ex-spetslolz soldier, the SLB bombed two radar stations in the USSR before commencing the assault on the island chain. Radar Overseer Scotty contacts Pieboy and the two discuss the attack. Pieboy denies any possibility that it will become another War in the Republic of My scenario. The two were interrupted suddenly when a news station informed both leaders that North Koroflia had signed an alliance with the Soviet Lulz Brigade. Now worried, Pieboy called for an emergency meeting of the present world superpowers. The ULR, the Republic of My and the USSR make their counter to this, a spec-ops team to attack North Koroflia. The next day they launched the invasion and attacked in full force. This was short lived however - an orbital rofl laser fired down on the force moments later, instantly annihilating them all. Scottyvich contacts the leaders at their meeting and laughs in Pieboy's face when he orders him to stand down. After this, the USSR began readying their forces to combat the SLB for the war. However, this was not the end. A terrorist attack on Lols Angeles airport pointed to the USSR as the perpetrators when leaked video footage revealed a high ranking Russian official supplying the terrorist. Pieboy claimed against the United Loltions that this had not been his plan and that he would not jeopardize Earth 2 by doing this. It was eventually revealed a third of his government were in league with the Soviet Lulz Brigade. These traitors were hunted down and killed violently for their crimes in the following days. The Russians receive word later that the Soviet Lulz Brigade is broken and that North Koroflia has pulled their support. They then get given word that the CLPA have returned in full force and that the Supreme AI was revived. The biggest problem was about to follow. The Supreme AI started her return with a hellish bang. As Pieboy returned to his tower in Lolcouver, Canaderp, air sirens began blaring around Lolcouver, noticing the nuclear missiles being readied. He immediately contacted Nuclear Weapon Overseer Federov, who informed him that there was a hacker in the system that had taken control of the nuclear launch system and changed the abort codes, stopping them from aborting the launches. The missiles in the far east of the USSR launched towards targets all across Lolrope and Lolsia. Pieboy attempted to remotely disarm as many as he could, but his efforts were in vain. By the time he regained control of the nuclear launch systems and the abort codes, it was too late. The missiles had impacted, killing fifty million people in total and causing a continental black out across Lolrope and Lolsia, destroying many major cities in the blasts. Intent on getting revenge for the people his missiles killed, and for the last time the USSR was messed with, Pieboy complied when he was asked by James Rofl of the Rofl Intelligence Agency to help in Operation Island Liberation. Pieboy sent a major attack force to help Roflcopter Squad, eventually liberating the island chain. This victory was shortlived however as the Supreme AI's ultimate plan, Operation Downfall became a reality. Pieboy and a small portion of his military forces were underground during a nationwide military nuclear cover test. They were protected when the Cleanser fired - but the same could not be said for a majority of the Russian population, as well as a lot of the Russian Military. Pieboy took his remaining soldiers together from all across the country and prepared for the Great Final War. The Great Final War Despite not living up to its given name, the Great Final War was a very bloody conflict. Pieboy and his forces ///WARNING: DATA CORRUPTED IN MEMORY BLOCK ALPHA-3B-SIERRA. PLEASE CYCLE MEMORY BLOCK TO PREVIOUS VERSION OR INSERT BACK UP TO VIEW THIS ARCHIVE///